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How exactly do you even meet anyone if you aren’t looking?
Does someone accidentally fall on you in the grocery store?
In the two-and-a-half hours I leave the house each week, is he going to trip on me at Starbucks while I’m nervously palming my skinny hazelnut latte and completely avoiding eye contact?
Will I lock eyes with him at the library while I’m researching just how relationships actually work? I see you’re clutching every book on love ever written.
Forget everything except what you are going to do now and do it.” ~William J.
Durant I’m all too aware that dating can feel like a grinding, painful roller coaster to nowhere.
If you’ve hit your head against the wall as many times as I have, you know how frustrating, depressing, and downright disheartening it can be.
Meeting someone new, going on a few great dates, getting excited, having one/both of you sort of stop calling; then repeating the process over and over is enough to make you want to give up for good.
While it can be fun to go on a bunch of dates with different people, it can also make you feel like you’re floating alone on your own little island of solitude.For happily married people, the trials of meeting a mate are ancient history that they’ve completely glossed over.So they often parrot off clichés like “you’ll meet the right one when you most expect it” and “you’ll find him when you aren’t looking.” When you’re on this emotional roller coaster, these well meaning statements are enough to make you want to cold clock someone in the face.I find that super intriguing, want to go get a drink? After a while, it’s easy to feel like starting your collection of cats and totally giving up on the idea of ever meeting the right person.Several times during my dating experiences, I had to shut down my various online dating profiles for a few months and lick my wounds. It often became necessary to stop everything and reflect on why dating experiences had been such abysmal failures. I went on so many dates that I was testing different outfits, different responses to texts, different time frames for everything. I certainly could have won an award for persistence, but why did it still feel like not only were there great people out there, but they were behind some kind of sturdy glass wall?
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It takes a lot of determination and/or masochism to keep putting yourself out there when Mr. Without fail, I would eventually put my rose colored glasses back on and try again, inspired by a friend meeting someone new or it being the absolute depths of winter.